When I left …

May 17, 2009 at 6:44 am (Prose Poems)


Am trying to sleep but I cant, because I miss everything …

I miss the dim gray color of the sky, and I miss the cold feeling that sneaks from my jacket to sting my neck ..

I miss the taxi driver when he says “where to love” and “thanks darling” ..
I miss the crowded Liverpool station, and the smell of emental cheese pie from Delice de France ..

And I miss enjoying the pie sitting on the green seats of the train heading to Colchester ..I miss sharing the IPod headphone with my friends and fighting over it … I miss them telling me ‘ oho get your own ipod’ until they got me one for my birthday .. and I miss shaking our shoulders on the beat that only we can hear .. I miss people’s weird looks to us when we do that

I miss hurrying up when we reach the station to catch the taxi before people do ..and I miss looking at ASDA sign when we leave the station and Tesco sign when we arrive to uni

I miss the funny tired walk across the southcourt, sometimes it seems a very long walk, but we always cross it with laughter. . I miss shouting and singing at the middle of Harwich court and running inside quickly so no one can see ..I miss the awful feeling of having to carry the heavy bags up to the third floor .. and I miss the look of my red room and its scent when I open the door .. I miss my bed, my cupboard, my desk, my green chair, my tiny white bathroom which looks like an airplane toilet…

I miss knocking on my friend room when I have some gossip, or a new joke that I heard. .. I miss going to their room if am depressed and looking for chocolate in Saieeda’s goodies drawer .. or stealing one from Aoosh’s disk … I miss the late night chat in the kitchen and the tuna with rice or the chicken dish .. I miss my friends opening my healthy cupboard and saying “why the hell did we open your cupboard, we forgot that you only have bird food”

I miss when am in my room and I hear the load music coming from my friend room, I miss going to their rooms to dance our heart out. .. I miss the crazy scandalas pictures that we used to take .. and I miss our shock when we feel hungry at the middle of the night and discover that someone ate our food ..

I miss waking up on the awful crows noise, or the janitor singing and whistling or the cleaner knocking on my door to clear the bathroom..

I miss nagging and complaining to my friends that they don’t go the gym with me in the morning .. I miss how happy I feel when they make the effort and come

I miss how we used to sit on square 3 with fee, aisha and tuga checking people out and having the time of our life. I miss the silly jokes, and the bonding sessions. I miss having a fag with the Bahraini gals .. I miss the big dinners, the food, the craziness

I miss wearing my jeans and orange jacket and my white hat walking across the campus to express when its very cold outside to grab a cheese burger. I miss going to café vert pretending that the saudi’s are not staring just to get my blueberry muffin. .. I miss drinking the chink drink with my gals on square 3 .. I miss having the secret fags with them ..

I miss the time when I sit infornt of the mirror to prepare myself to go to London listening to quran, I miss when aoosh come to my room while am getting ready and only wearing my underwear to borrow the eyeliner, I miss that we do a fashion show everytime we go to London to make sure that we are dressed really nice .. I miss the content we feel when we are ready to leave

I miss the excitement, the flirting, the giggles, the restaurant, I miss the people, the noise the polluted air of London. I miss fahood and his stupid embarrassing comments about people .. I miss his tiny apartment and I definitely miss how we used to complain when carrying our heavy bags to the sixth floor. .. I miss the disappointment when we knew that his new apartment was just the one next to his old one .. and I miss the breaks that we used to have while walking up the stairs to his apartment

I miss Krispe Kreem, Yo suchi and Ben’s cookies. I miss the underground, the pink all day ticket and the orange return ticket to Colchester.

I miss our tears, our laughter that still exist in every corner in London, I miss the mistakes we made, our stupidity, our silly and wrong decisions. I miss the difficulties we faced, that brought us closer together, I miss my friends .. no I miss my sisters

I miss being myself



  1. mmk080 said,

    What is this “chink drink” that you drank in square 3?

    • mimizwords said,

      LOL .. its a chineese drink; aloe vera with flavor, gape, kewi, peach …etc
      its very delecious, plus it has 0 calorie and full of vitamens. i dont remember who discovered it, but once it was discovered it spread between my friends and we got addicted to it just like it was heroin lol
      we used to buy it from the campus shop, so it was always available .

    • mimizwords said,

      OMG moh .. did you think its an alcoholic drink!

      BTW its a racist word, we shouldnt use it. … its not really called chink drink, we created this name because it had some chineese character loool

      • mmk080 said,

        LoL I didn’t know what it is. All I knew was that I know a lot of drinks names but almost zero knowledge of any alcoholic drinks.

        Speaking of drinks, I miss drinking Ribena raspberry drink. That was the best! I think I lived off of nothing but Ribena and crisps in the last month before the exam last year.

  2. Saif said,

    So i guess you should be grateful then for whoever helped you getting to Essex and made you have all these beautiful memories 😉 Very emotional Mariam.

    • mimizwords said,

      saif, non of us can thank you enough for everything you have done
      i still remember when i arrived to uni on sunday night, everything was closed, i had no water, food or even duvait or pillow to sleep. I was crying coz i was hungry, cold and alone. the heater was not working and the girls were still in doha. i tried to cover with the jaket but i was freezing. then i remembered you were in uni, i called you asking for extra blanket, and you carried a king size duvet all the way from the houses! god bless you, i slep like ababy

      and i remember when it was snowing so hard and i was carying heavy shopping bags, you appeared from nowhere and picked me up with your car

      and i remember when i knew that my grandfather passed away while i was in tesco, you came to pick me up with reem and helped carry my shopping

      and who can forget carrying our stuff back and forth, finishing paper work, dealing with our demands for four years, even when u left, we still needed your help

      no one can thank you enough .. all the girls and all the guys, you have a free ticket to heaven inshalla for all the help you gave us 🙂

      • Saif said,

        It is really kind of you to still remember all these incidents. You don’t have to thank me, what i did would naturally be done by anyone should they had a chance too. I am just lucky that i had one.

        It’s probably the other way round, i am the one who should thank you all, you gave me one of the most precious things any one can give, you gave me your trust.

  3. Tuga said,

    I want to add to the last comment.

    Seriously Saif, no one can thank you enough. I remember when you came all the way to London early in the morning, to help my mum bring Maryam’s and my stuff up to Colchester. That in itself was a huge act of kindess but it didn’t stop there, you made about three visits to my new room in Greenstead that night, bringing us goodies, movies, helping us with our shoping from Tesco – which was just across the road, but you were such a gentleman. allah eeheneek ib7ayatak.

    As for you Maryoom, I’ve read something like this before, and it sort of made me sad, reading it again, it hit me, bring on academic year 2009/2010, we’re going to relive that and top it up with even more khbal and fun! (pray for me I still haven’t heard from them, should hear within 3 weeks and a half inshalah)

    • Saif said,

      You’re one of the people that i feel most privileged that i met, Tuga. It’s really amazing that you still remember the details of that day, which reminds me, where are the DVD’s I gave you that day? 😛 just kidding. Seriously, you have a very kind heart, no matter how small favors people do for you, you still see them big ones, not that i had any favor over you.

      Good luck with what you are waiting for whatever it is, you have my prayers.

  4. M Zaidan said,

    mashalla saif .. every time i remember the good times in UK i remember u .. the cinema .. the Town .. the Uni .. even the Boxes .. LoooooL .. GOD bless u my little bro .. u always offered us ur help .. ur advice .. ur hands r full of goodness .. when i have a child i will name him saif .. inshalla .. and if its a girl i will name her Nancy .. Looool .. just kidding .. best of luck in ur PHD ..

    • Saif said,

      Ooh, where did you come from! It’s nice to see you’re still alive.

      See maryam, your blog is becoming popular, looks like your blog will soon witness an Essex graduates reunion 😉

    • mimizwords said,

      Mohammad, how are you

      what a surprise to see you on my bolg! how did you know about it.

  5. Manoora said,

    again i read this post and i cant help it .. agin i hav tears n my eyez.. and i again ill tell u , U SMACKED IT MAN!! i jus love it!! i think ill copy it and print it out and hang it somewher n my room!

    and saif i have to agree with the girlz! even thou i got to know u n my 2nd yr, u still helpd us alot with out us even knowin! thank u soo much saif! no words can describ how much each one of us owes u!!!
    Thank god for Essex 😀

    • Saif said,

      Hey Muneera, it is nice to hear from you again, and thank you for your kind words. yeah, it is a shame that i only got to know you in your 2nd year (which is my 3rd), but you are one of the people who i am really glad to know.

      If memory helps (and i can’t trust my memory any more), your wedding is next month, so congratulations in advance, and this is extended to Salman, may you have a happy peaceful life.

  6. M Zaidan said,

    hi there maryam … am cool thanks GOD …
    i was asking saif the other day about blogs ! .. and he mentioned ur blog as an example .. so i asked him to send me ur blog’s link ..
    mashalla girl u have nice and creative thoughts .. i will be having my own blog soon .. as soon as i get my brain to work again .. looool ..

  7. E said,

    loved it !
    you’re a great writer, I imagined every single bit of it!

  8. jateetr. said,

    I know that u will not read this but this post made me cry!
    I have the same feeling and nostalgia to Colchester!
    I really miss it and top of that love the feeling of missing u without u know!

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