Questions that have crossed my mind …

May 24, 2009 at 9:11 am (Just a thought ...) (, )

Why is it that in our society when someone has a different opinion than the mainstream opinion, he/she is casted away or labeled with names?

Why is it a crime to be different?

 Why do we all must have the same values and life style?

Why can’t we just simply accept others as long as they are not harming us?

Why cant we stop interfering with others private life?

Why there is fear of being different; or better, genuine.?

Why Many of us can’t live the life they really want because of fear of other’s judgment?

And why many of us can’t even express their true opinion fearing they will be the ones facing the accused pointing fingers?

Why do we have to pretend to be perfect in front of others?

Why are we allowed to be ourselves behind closed doors; as long as others cant see and don’t know?

Why do we shame those who dared to do what they want, while deep down we envy them because we never had the courage to stand up for what we want?

Why cant we have our own mind, we do we have to think in the collective mind of the society?

Why do we forget the good in people and only remember their flaws?

Why is the bond between group of people that is created from hating someone, is created faster and is stronger than the bond created from loving someone?

Why cant we be tolerant, peaceful and happy?

Why do we like looking for trouble and misery?

Sometimes I cant help but to feel like its one big show, one big lie, the better your pretend, the better you survive.

8 Comments

  1. Nasser said,

    These questions crossed my mind as well. Still do. Living in a small, homogenous society with traditions and cultural values specific to us, I guess being ‘different’, and not adapting oneself to his/her surroundings, could be seen as ‘straying from the path’ so to speak, and possibly, in Society’s eyes, be percieved as posing a threat to these values. Hence, we get harshly judged, and treated as such, even if we were just pretending all along.

    Personally, as much as I continue to struggle with these issues, I ultimately chose to live my life the way I see fit, so long as I’m being a decent human being, and I’m not causing harm or infringing on anyone’s rights. Being myself, is well within ‘my’ rights, and there’s only so much I can compromise for the sake of adapting into my society. for whatever reasons, no matter how much I try.

    my 2 cents worth! =)

  2. comment said,

    Hi , i couldnt help but ask. are you looking at your problems from a liberal view?
    i guess you are: if so, do you really understand the main concepts behind liberal thinking?
    its not as nice as people think it is:

    “you can do what ever you want aslong as you do not hurt anyone else or break the law”,

    that basicly gives me the right do break every religious law there is without breaking the law of the land ofcourse(stealing…killing…ect). and since we have this contradiction in our country it causes problems.

    one pure example is london, i could keep harrassing somone and no one can stop me because i did not hurt anyone physical. ‘freedom of speech’

    without a solid foundation of principles you will allways feel that people judge/look/think/see/envy differently.
    but it doesnt mean that you cant come up with solid arguments, they are solid but if i keep hitting them they will break.

    i found your blog from a comment you place in arranged marriages from amal almalkis blog which disturbed me to be honest:

    you said : “there is no shame in love, physical attraction is important”.

    physical attraction stands for : The shape of the body/ the side of curves/ the legs of a women.

    do you really want love based on thoughs shallow grounds?
    if you force women to be judged on thoughs grounds do you really get/understand how much personal problems and insecure they feel? ( if god blessed you with such thing how would you feel if your child in future comes to you crying because she does not fit in this socieity?)
    they have to go in intensive care untill they reach the level of standard to be loved?

    i cant understand it. i cant, this is premitive thinking. ( dont judge a book by its cover and dont judge women based on shape).

    imagine you got pregnant and brought a new kid, a women will definitely gain weight, for western women once she breaks this level of standard the man cheats on his wife. (thank god in islamic standards I could just marry an other one in ship-shape condition)😛

    and btw im trying as much as possible to keep the image of liberalism as clean as i can, more sinister things happen, i dont want to include them🙂
    its not the place for it.

    in 1962 a university in the United States Kicked a women from campus for breaking moral law: that was she slept with some other student without marriage.
    2009: a women was raped in Washington DC park hunders of people past by and did nothing:
    http://www.inquisitr.com/24533/woman-raped-in-washington-park-as-hundreds-watched-nobody-intervened/

    this is were liberalism leads. you cant create a new liberalim based on some invisible lines within islamic law. its not that simple.

    liberalism is based on lust/greed/ and dsire. (all these islam clearly teachs us to suppress these feelings ( why do we fast in ramadan? )

    i can and im 100% confident that i can break you core beliefs with logical thinking.

    no religious/socitiy standards but by logic thinking / results and personal experince.

    if you believe in your liberal thinking so much i think you will be able to convert me?

    • mimizwords said,

      To answer your question; no am not looking at it from liberal point of view, I am looking at it from moral point of view. But of course, the questions were vague and I didn’t put a specific subject so any reader could understand them according to their own way of thinking. And that is good so we can discuss different ideas.

      I didn’t not mention liberalism or religion at all and I certainly do not wish to speak of politics or religion on my blog. Asking these questions certainly didn’t mean that I am questioning religion or core values in our society. It is much simpler than that; I am questioning social behavior.

      If you are asking me if am liberal, yes I am. But my understanding of liberalism is different than yours, or the way it is in academic text books. Comon, I certainly don’t mean that we shouldn’t care if a girl got raped; this is immoral. Being liberal doesn’t mean that you should be immoral and don’t care for whatever goes around you. This is an extreme point of view. For me liberalism is a synonym for tolerance, acceptance, communication ..etc.
      You might still wondering how am I looking at it from a moral point of view? Let me elaborate just a little. What I am asking for is already in Islam (even though I said I wont discuss religion, but just to give you a better idea of what am talking about) For example, not to talk behind other’s back; not to spread rumors and ruin people’s reputation; to be tolerant and forgiving with people …etc. People tend to forget some of the most important things in Islam. And I do really think they are very important because they deal with morals, and religion is morals. For example, if you don’t pray, its between you and god, and god is kind and forgiving. But if you harm others, its between you and them, and people tend not to forgive, and if they do, they don’t forget. It is really much simpler than what you thought 

      And I don’t know why you mentioned my comment in Dr, Amal blog, eshda5al? lol but lets be honest. Do you want to tell me that physical attraction is not important at all? Please, to love someone you at lease have to be a little bit attracted to him/her physically. It might seem shallow to you, but this is pure human nature. But I guess you are different and don’t mind spending the rest of your life with someone you don’t feel attracted to. Being physically attracted to someone doesn’t mean that he/she must be beautiful. Beauty is relevant, (beauty is in the eye of the beholder) that is why people have different taste. I might find someone extremely gorgeous while my friends find them repulsive; and this actually happened many times. My point is that both parties should be comfortable with this aspect regardless of how they look to others. And when I mentioned physical attraction, I didn’t mean to say that emotional or intellectual attraction is not important too. But this is not the issue here.

      And am not interested in converting anyone; everyone is right and entitled to their opinion. Not because they disagree with me means that they are wrong.

  3. comment said,

    well to be honest I read your comments there, and their the ones that drove me to your blog, and once I read your questions in this post. lets just say i read them ‘in context’ of your idealogy.

    obviously from your comment I understand that you do not want to debate, but there are couple of things here I cant stop but ask.

    I’m sorry to say but I did read your other comments there tooday about abbay;
    I respect your right to say i dont want to be forced to hear it.
    but have you ever thought of the people who are forced to see girls tooday in jeans in land mark or city center. their being forced to see somthing they dont like aswell, we are pushing it down their throughts, this is why qatar society is backlashing against them.

    thats why they judge thoughs people.

    “if you don’t pray, its between you and god, and god is kind and forgiving”

    who says? who says that praying is between you and god?
    did you forget the prophets saying: وظربوهم عليها لعشر?

    your an educated person, you say you’ve studied in the UK 4 years.
    do you think that UK has a healthly social life.
    would you like to see that reflected in the middle east and qatar.
    do you think the kuwait(social) example is a good example, they have fragmentted social layers, which makes them easier to control.
    (questions that dont require your answer, think about it).

    I would invite you to read more/listen to muslim scolars.
    I’m 100% sure your going to change your view, I Really hope you do.

    “Not because they disagree with me means that they are wrong.”

    do you believe if this disagreement is between you and Islam, whos right?
    thats why muslims must believe your wrong. its either your right or god is.

    if there is such thing as i’ll do what i want and no one should judge me, it would have been included in islam🙂

    I hope you know im not in any way trying to attack your personally🙂 , I’m attacking what ‘i think’ your saying your standing for.

    physical attraction is very important! god created us this way, that what draws men to women, and thats the only reason for a women to throw abbaya away, to attract men. (my modest point of view).

    last comment : you cant create a new liberalim based on some invisible lines within islamic law. its not that simple. if it was it would have been created allready.
    the reason that it hasnt been created yet is because it conflicts with islam.

    • mimizwords said,

      Dear ….

      I completely understand your point of view and agree with you, and I really appreciate your civil way of pointing it out. Thank you for taking time to read my blog and commenting on it.

      I just want to say, as I said again, am not talking about religion so there is no disagreement with me or Islam. And again am not comparing UK with Qatar or saying which is better. If you read my other topics you will see that I am not against my culture or Islam. Finally, am not trying to create new liberalism LOL i just want to live in peace. am not a scholar🙂

  4. Abdulla said,

    I wonder, I dont want to even get into the philosophical aspect of disscussing all your discomforts with your own society, Your people. The people you live. Who happen to be the least contradictive people on the face of this earth.

    I just want to ask………………………………….. Why do you use ” am not comparing ” ?
    Is it not the right correct way to say ” I am not comparing ” ?

    Of all your writings , this is the thing that caught my attention.

    I wish you luck in freeing yourself of the constraints of the ” CONSERVATIVE ” society you live in.

    عبدالله…………………………….

  5. mimizwords said,

    dear Abdulla

    thank you for your comment

    hmmmmm am not sure if i agree that we are the least contradictive people on earth! For example, we are not supposed to be racist by any means but unfortunately we are very racist even between each other. we have a distinction in our society between “hwela” and “3yal gobail”; certain groups think they are superior or better simply because of their race. and how about the way we see other arabs, we call each other names with different nationalities as insults! And how about the way we treat cheap labor? pay them few hundreds for slaving all day and treat them like property. isnt that contradicting considering our religion and culture? this is just one example.

    When i criticize something in the society, it is because i care, because i want it to be better. not because i hate it. how could we bring on change and development if we dont change to the better. If we dont learn to love each other and live in peace without judgment and interfering with other’s lives? thats my message, not to break rules or rebell on traditions. This is where my discomfort comes from.

    and about using “am” instead of “i am” … i dont know LOL why does it bother you that am missing the I ?

  6. Kbaisi said,

    I too think these are some very good questions that need real answers, and not people pretending that such questions don’t need to be raised because we live in a ‘perfect’ society. Good work Mimi.

    Abdulla – Based on what did you reach the conclusion that they are the “least contradictive”?

    Please enlighten me as to why this part of the world is one of the wealthiest yet still the poverty rate is high among the population?

    You are aware that only less than 10 years ago a lot of the people from this region had no problem smuggling and abusing kids to be used as camel jockeys right? And they most likely will still be doing it too if it wasn’t for the recently created laws preventing them from doing so.

    What about the controlled media? Are they afraid that real freedom in the media would perhaps expose the truth on what really goes on? These are just a few examples.

    To me your post completely reinforces what mimi is arguing about. Instead of living a lie and pretending everything is perfect here, why not address the problems and attempt to fix them? Sweeping the issues under the rug are not going to make them disappear.

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