Sometimes I wonder if it’s us or life that has changed. They say there is nothing new under the sun. And I wonder, was Eid really boring for all grownups, and was only exciting for us kids because we were simply kids. Or was it really much nicer and better than now? The joy is different. Sometimes it feels like a burden, to find something new to wear and to visit the 200 relatives you have. Why was it much enjoyable few years back and not now? Why do everyone stay in their Abaya and don’t even bother taking it off inside my grandmother’s house?
I wish I was a kid again sometimes. Everything was less complicated and easy. No responsibilities, no one expecting anything from you but to eat well, play and sleep. Was it because children’s life is simple? Was it because I did not have to cover and watch how I behave and what I say? Was it that the only thing that was not allowed is to draw on the walls or taste sand?
I wonder if we really get more liberated as we grow up. Sometimes I feel that the older I get, the more rules I have to follow. Or the more strains are put upon me. It seems that everything is not allowed, it’s just complicated. If grownups do a mistake, people won’t think it’s cute or funny anymore.
I wish I can just dress up like a little princess, and eat so many cupcakes and extra cheese burgers and play on the streets with girls and boys every day.
This stage of life is difficult. You are not a child, and not fully grownup. You don’t get to play, and you don’t have your full freedom. Once you are too old to enjoy life, people will leave you alone. and so half of your life is wasted trying to follow rules, to please others, and meet their expectations. You must study something smart, like medicine, engineering, law, business, politics. You must get a respectful job. You must get married, you must have kids straight away …. etc! When do we enjoy life? or life should be enjoyed by following these rules … and suddenly you are old!
Who said we have to study these things? What if I wanted to be a pianist, or a makeup artist? An air hostess, a cleaner, a cook? Or nothing at all! What if I didn’t work and spent few years travelling and doing pointless things? Why does it have to be some fancy job at some fancy organization?
We must worry about exams, and then more exams. Then we must worry about the wedding. Then worry about buying a house, then worry about the kids! Hey wait .. I was a kid few years ago, how do I have one now! What did just happen! what are these new feelings? jealousy!
Maybe the only good thing from being a grownup is the pleasure of sex. But is it worth all the trouble really?